Blabbering Blast #1

You've won? Think again.

You've lost the game from the moment you thought you've won,

Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness

Never thought this is how it will end....

we were so happy before...

it is a given if we were about to be sad after that....

but, never I know, it will be like this....

never I know, it will hurt so bad....

this heart... it feel like it was going to burst....

take it away please....

I LOST MYSELF.... AND I HAVE PROBLEM IN GETTING IT BACK..

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” ~Henry David Thoreau

      I am not myself lately. I don't know how it started. but slowly I can feel my life drifted away. I tried to hang on it, but it slipped from my grasp....

      I started to lost appetite. I used to eat a lot before. But now, I only eat to survive.

      I lost my trust on people. I keep my distance from everyone. Everyone felt like a stranger to me. Or maybe, I'm a stranger to myself.

      This world is rotten. And the people inside it are worst. All people are against me. Or maybe I am the one who is against them.

      I tried to regain myself, but I failed.

      I don't know myself anymore. I tried to act normal. But it is weird.

     Someone help me please.....

   

   
     

PIECE OF MIND #7 - THE TOUCH OF FEAR

THE TOUCH OF FEAR

The ringing phone filled her with dread.  It was him. She was sure, it was him. Her reflex tells her to get it, but her mind stops her.

“Don’t. Please don’t”, she whispered.

Closing her eyes, she ignored the call and hurriedly upstairs. She went to her room, and tightly closed the door. Leaning against the door, she was slightly out of breath.

Shuddering at the thoughts that he might come any second and get her, her legs gave in. She was now on the floor, shaking.

“It is ridiculous. He wouldn’t come here”, she whispered.

“And furthermore, I already locked the door, he can’t come. Can he?”. After a few moment, she shook her head. Stupid, she thought. 

Stop imagining things, she reminded herself.

Chuckling at her ridiculous thoughts, she stands up and went to her window. The window was widely open and she wanted to close it before she went to bed. Suddenly, instead of closing the window, her fingers went numb. Her body was shaking. Her mind went blank. Her lips were trembling. 

She had seen something. Something was so shocking, she can't even move.

He was there. He is like a shadow itself. Wearing all black, hooded sweater covering his face. He was lurking at her front gate. Waiting for hours so that he can see her. Even if he can only see her silhouette, it was enough. Now that he seen her, he was contented. Smiling, he left the place.

“I’ll come again. As long as I can see you, it didn’t matter”.

  

NEW STORIES COMING IN!!

A Lonely Track
Kevin Taylor
Annette Watson

A petrol or gas station is the location, sadness is the theme. A mobile phone is an object that plays a part in the story.

Mobile Phone, secrecy, betray.

This wasnt where she wanted to be...

Time to challenge myself... Using all of the above to write a story... Wait for it!!!

BLOODY RED EYES

Assalamualaikum…

How ya doin’,peeps?

Recently, my eyes got problem, MAJOR one and I am 100 percent sure that it is because of I was wearing contact lenses. It has been 1 year or so since I started to wear contact lenses. At first, it was fine. 

Until recently…

When I wore the lenses, it took some time before the symptoms appear. My eyes were blurry and I can’t open it. And it was sensitive toward the sun or any light, my eyes will shed tears every time it come contact with any light. There is also a feeling of something foreign in my eyes when I blinked. My eyes were bloody red (I was probably related to the Cullens). Even my sister said there were veins visible near my eyes every time my eyes hurt. Sometimes, I had headache.

I was so much in pain. I lose my appetite as I can barely see my food, so how can I eat it. How can I lived without the contact lenses. It was the one which can give me confidence ( I am nothing without the lenses.. )

At first, I am not that concerned since from my reading, it usually happens when we are not careful. And I thought it was only a normal eye scratch. But now, since it happened for the third time in my life,

 HELL OF COURSE I AM CONCERNED…

So, peeps, if you ever encounter the symptoms below when you are wearing your contact lenses,

   

•     Eyes stinging, burning, itching (irritation), or other eye pain

•     Comfort is less than when lens was first placed on eye

•     Abnormal feeling of something in the eye (foreign body, scratched area)

•     Excessive watering (tearing) of the eyes

•     Unusual eye secretions

•     Redness of the eyes

•     Reduced sharpness of vision (poor visual acuity)

•     Blurred vision, rainbows, or halos around objects

•     Sensitivity to light (photophobia)

•     Dry eyes

IMMEDIATELY remove your lenses OR face the CONSEQUENCES, peeps..

It was horrible, ask me.. I knew better than anyone!!!

So….

WHAT TO DO when you hurt or scratched your eyes…

First, you have to recognize the symptoms of a scratched cornea (usually I googled…). An abrasion, or scratch, of the cornea is likely to cause excessive tearing, pain to the point of not wanting to open the eye, blurred vision and sensitivity to light. Often an individual may remember being poked in the eye with an object shortly before the symptoms began, or she may have slept in her contacts. (no wonder it was happening to me.. I ALWAYS SLEPT IN MY CONTACTS)

Then, blink your eye several times to help remove dust, sand or other small particles.

Next, flush your eye with water. If you wear contacts, take your contact out and flush your eye with water to get rid of the object that scratched your eye. Even if you don't wear contacts, flush your eye with water. Do not try to remove an object that is embedded in the eye, or an object that prevents proper closure of the eyelid. If this occurs, seek medical attention immediately.

After that, seek medical attention to confirm you have an abrasion or to remove any debris from your eye. A physician may "stain" your eye with a chemical that makes an abrasion easier to see to confirm the diagnosis. He will also have the tools to be able to safely extract any debris.

Take medication as prescribed by your doctor. If your eye is scratched, your doctor will likely prescribe an antibiotic in the form of eye drops to heal, and numb, your eye. The antibiotic relieves some of the pain and also helps your eye heal faster. He may prescribe Vicodin to ease pain (yes, it is that painful), though it's not absolutely necessary in the healing process. He may also prescribe an eye drop to dilate your pupils to help your eye intake light.

Last but not least, place a cold compress on your eye if swelling continues. If you wear contacts, avoid wearing them for at least a week.

This is one of the simplest ways that I can find. You can search by yourself to get more information.

Now, let’s pray that my eyes will heal and recovered so I can wear contact lenses AGAIN…

Well, until then.. Assalamualaikum... 

MISINTERPRETATION

Assalamualaikum...

how ya doin', peeps?

I don't know how to explain this, but recently I had been actively blogging.

maybe because it is the semester break and I don't have much to do ( except for the fact that there are a lot to do, stress kicking in, confusion take place, and I still don't know what my role is, yet... ).

OR

maybe this is just the calm before the storm. so, I better take advantage of it, and do anything that I want before I didn't have any time for anything.

OR

since I was writing late at night, the ideas are gushing in non-stop, like a flowing river. before this, night time is for my assignments, lab reports and last minute studies. all this stuffs blocking the ideas from dissolving into my brain (??). haha...

whatever it is, I think this is a proper way to spend time on my hobby, blogging it is... since I was neglecting and ignoring my blogs for almost a semester. I was only posted motivational quotes, just to show that I was actually blogging ( which I didn't... since my heart isn't in it.. hoho)

Ooookaaayyy... back to the topic, I am going to discuss of misinterpretation of me when someone text me ( I don't think I was the only one that was experiencing it...  a lot of us did.. right?? )

Text messaging is a silent communication between two individuals. it is actually a non-verbal communication and always happens when the recipient and the sender were not in the same location. so, it is easy for us to misinterpret the messages.

such as,

you text "I'm really happy to be at work" to your friend, it is supposed to be a confession on how you love you job, but your friends might misinterpret by that you are actually being sarcastic and meant "I really don't want to be at work." this error might be used against you and there is a possibility that your boss will fire you.

you text "whatever" to your friend. what you actually mean is, you leave the decision to your friend completely and fully trusted him/her on the decision. however, your friends might assume that you are actually didn't care at all and were being sarcastic and plain rude. it might destroy your friendship.

lastly, you are being too sensitive about the text and it caused you to be angry to the recipient due to some misunderstanding (it happens to me all the time...). you have the impression that he/she are ordering you around when they are actually asking for your help.

however, this disadvantages can be avoided by the usage of emoticons or any words such as, lol or haha.

so, every time you text someone, make sure he/she got your actual message. use emoticons frequently as it will help you to express your feeling properly. and you can always ask if you don't understand the messages received.  


but, if anyone of this didn't work, just call your friends or meet him/her face-to-face. this is your last resolution but it can also be your first.

well, until then... Assalamualaikum...

INDEPENDENT ME??

Assalamualaikum...

how ya doin', peeps??

I'm doing fine, as always... a little bored, actually...
Currently, I am at the hostel...
during the semester break...
yup.. during the semester break..
wait a minute... 
 WTF???

Yup, it's out of norms. but it is not unheard of. Now I am in an organisation, and it requires an ongoing commitment. even during the break, we had stuff to do. not that I'm complaining. it is just that
I AM BORED.....
when we don't have stuff to do...

that's when I decided, "hey, why don't I write a post?? about myself??"
don't get me wrong. it is just I am not usually talk about myself. hehe...

My friends always said, before they knew me, they said I'm always alone... "Forever alone" to be precise..

for me, when you are alone, that doesn't mean that u loved being alone..or "Forever alone"... or being isolated... or an outcast...

In my case, I believed sometimes we just need some time to be alone...  especially when it is during PMS... I tend to get annoyed or irritated easily... and usually I will snapped... Ask my twin sister... it was terrible... hoho.. i am trying to become patient and keep my temper low. still, it is hard to do. I hate to be mad at others because all the negative aura from my temper will badly influence myself. once, I was so pissed off at my friends, I fell sick.

 'kay... it is a fallacy but one thing for sure, when I was pissed off, it will affect my mood entirely until I can't even do my work properly. that's why I prefer to stay neutral all the time.

I don't like to talk. I am not even a talkative person. and it took time for me to get close with someone. so, some people might think I am difficult to approach.. still, when I am close with someone, it shows. for me, friends are next to my family. i valued my friends a lot.

however, I like to wander around alone. I know it is dangerous, since I am a girl. and bad things might happen to me. but it is already became my habit. every time I went to town, i'll go alone. it is easy for me, as I can go anywhere than I like without thinking about others. it is also allow me to take my time, as I am very picky when it comes to shopping.

eating alone? it is not a problem. just pick a farthest corner of a restaurant and sit there.

if I lost my way, I just need to ask passerby. eventhough it is impossible to lost my way at Kangar. pffft...

once, there are no bus to Kangar straight away, so I had to go to Alor Setar first, to catch another bus. I was worried at first, since I never go there unaccompanied. You should see my father's face. he was worried alright. but, it turned out to be fine. I just had to have faith. that's all. 

when we go anywhere with our friends, we have to consider about their purpose too.

what if the things that he/she needs are not in the shop that we went?

what if she don't like to eat at the restaurant that I prefer?

what if he/she still need to do some shopping when we already done and it is getting late?

sometimes, he/she wouldn't accept our idea. so, we have to consider many things and compromise with him/her.

however, that was before. now, i always go shopping with my friends. yes, I have to consider and compromise many things with them. but it has become easier as we already become close to each other.

that doesn't mean I was dependent on them already. I can still do stuffs alone, when they are not there to accompany me. I think we all have to be independent because we will not always with the same friends. yes, now it is. but when we finished our study and have job. our friends not necessarily will have job at the same companies as we did.

Independent is good but not too much..

wll, until then... Assalamualaikum...