IF I HAD KNOWN...

    If I had known that during the semester break is the last time I saw him, I probably won't return to the university that early.

    If I had known I won't be able to see him anymore, I probably won't go to Penang and meet him when he came to Perlis before. It was the last time he visited his hometown and his friends before he left us.

The last picture of me, my sister n my late grandfather

   I don't know why I suddenly thinking of him. And the thought of him always bring up tears. In the car, in the bus or even just now. I still can't accept the fact that he's gone. 

   I regretted every moment when I'm not with him. I was too busy with this and that, I don't realized that his time is almost over.

   I wanted to go home, but every time I'm there, I'll shed in tears. The house was now empty. His belongings were still there but he's not.

   And the fact that my father always talked about him left me speechless. 

   From the bottom of my heart, I regretted for not being with him when he was sick. If I had the chance to rewind time, I will ask for his forgiveness though my mistakes were unforgivable. I was selfish and I hate myself for that. I really do.

I'll never be alright. Ever.